This morning, Google delivered to me a reinforcer: Make today a Meatless Monday.
There I sat, ferociously hitting refresh in my Gmail spam folder. I was expecting an email I feared had wound up in Spamville. Patience! my mind exclaimed. But I was too far gone, pummeling my way down Bobby Brown Boulevard.
No new messages appeared. In fact, all that changed on the page were the Google sponsored ad links, which advertised Spam recipes. Each sounded more disgusting than the last:
- Spam Skillet Casserole
- Vineyard Spam Salad
- Spam Hashbrown Bake [serves 8]
- Ginger Spam Salad [serves 1]
- Spicy Spam Kabobs
- Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches
- Spam Breakfast Burritos [serve with salsa]
- Spam Vegetable Strudel
- Spam Veggie Pita Pockets
- Savory Spam Crescents
- Spam Fajitas
- Spam Swiss Pie
Sadly, my click-thru rate for these ads was a remarkable .33%. Check your spam ads, you may understand the temptation.
The veggie entries are particularly disturbing. Also, on the off chance you’re making Ginger Salad I ask that you leave the slimy, matchstick-sized pork shoulder out of it.
If I were bulimic, I’d wolf down such salty treats in (or for) an instant. Instead, I’ll be cooking up some ratatouille to the tune of $7.06 spent at the veggie market. Rather than eating Spam alone in a corner as your arteries weep, join me!