This piece was originally published on Little Old Lady Comedy.
Why is the Lorax Cloroxing a box?
And keeping six feet from his pal Fox in Socks?
Why is Pop dressed like a bank robber?
With a handkerchief over his mouth and nose slobber?
Dear kid, be like them, and wash your hands too.
Ditch those germs that turn pink people blue.
Tell that Cat in the Hat you do not wish to play.
Tell that Wocket in your pocket to stay far away.
The zoo may be shut and the parks may be closed,
But you can have fun without getting exposed.
Your pantry, the pantry! There’s lots to explore.
Just head to the cabinet and unlatch the door.
Count every bean can. Two hundred and three?
My goodness! TOOT, TOOT! Don’t hoard, you see.
Now take that toilet paper and roll it around.
Make a snake or a train or a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zound.
But don’t waste a sheet, don’t crumple, don’t rip.
For if you do, dear mother will flip.
Wait, what is that on the very top shelf?
Not Thing 1, but Thing 2, sitting all by himself!
He is fluffy and splotchy and feverish too.
Dear kid, shut that door, and seal it with glue!
Call for the doctor, crouch down on the floor.
Tell mother and father to Lysol each drawer.
Thing 2 has that virus, no question he does!
With yellow-purple spots and a most bizzy buzz.
Grab the phone and call up Thing 1.
Get him quarantined, say it’ll be fun.
Just think, little one, how lucky are you?
Thing 2’s in the cabinet and not in your kazoo.
Time to play, off you go, stay healthy and strong.
Before you know it, this bug will be gone.